To-dos
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The valley of January has been traversed. From this side of it, I want to write a few words in praise of the recurring to-do item. Its two best virtues are that it helps both to build and to reinforce habit; and that even if you don’t get to one piece of your routine today, it’ll still be there for you tomorrow. This is accountability and mercy at the same time. If you miss the mark 27 days in a row and on the 28th day you’re in the right mood and you nail it because your favorite minor hot gay celebrity was in yoga class with his shirt off, that is success.
Personally, I’ve long used and loved Todoist, which makes it easy to repeat your to-do at any interval. (This app made me the first human ever to replace his toothbrush every three months, though I confess this is an achievement with no benefits.) It also gives you a terse cheering haptic pulse when you cross something off on your phone, which is surprisingly effective reinforcement. You could also use a template in Apple’s Reminders or just print out the same list on paper every day.
Here are a few of my favorite recurring to-do items:
1. Say hi to yourself and check in. Use a mirror. Smile like you would at your best friend. It sounds hokey; doesn’t matter. We’re bodies. Looking yourself in the eye and saying “I love you” makes it true.
2. Write. As in, morning pages. Always second for me. There are a bunch of reasons this is a useful habit, but the two I will call out now are that it sets a tone of creative loosening, and that it checks the presumption of morning as a time of inexorable hurry. (I did most of these things even when I was a two-city professional; even if it seems impossible, it might not be.)
3. Meditate.
4. Track drinks. If you choose to drink alcohol, it’s never a bad idea to notice how much of it, but that information is harder to reconstruct afterward. Knowing you’ll be writing it down tomorrow means counting in the moment, as they come, and that is a form of mindfulness. Bottoms up.
5. Send love. This is maximum woo woo via the high priestess of it, Marianne Williamson. In this video she talks about taking a few minutes to think about everyone you’re going to interact with that day and channeling some love toward them; and then everyone you don’t know you’re going to interact with. It’s a form of metta practice. It won’t make you into a saint, but it might make you slightly less demonic.
6. Make the bed. As I said, we’re bodies. Bringing order to your environment has an interior effect.
I’d love to know what’s on your list, or will be when you get it going. If this resonates I’ll share some more of mine, too. Reply and let me know.
Kindly send me your thoughts, questions, and provocations: dmichaelowen@gmail.com. And say hi on Instagram, or let’s Peloton together: @leggy_blond.